


Five Times Scully Talked To William (And One Time They Talked To Each Other)

by MyOwnSuperintendent



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 09:26:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12603472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyOwnSuperintendent/pseuds/MyOwnSuperintendent
Summary: There were moments in which she was able to talk to her son.  Set in Seasons 8 and 9 and post Season 10.





	Five Times Scully Talked To William (And One Time They Talked To Each Other)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own The X-Files or anything related to it. Hope you enjoy!

_One_

_At around eighteen weeks, your baby begins to hear sounds.  In the second half of your pregnancy, your baby will be able to hear your voice and will even come to recognize it, so go ahead and start talking!  While Mom’s voice is important, it’s not the only voice your baby can get to know.  Encourage your partner to join you in talking to your baby._ That’s when Scully crumples the pamphlet and throws it in the trash.

But she knows it’s true—the baby can hear her.  And even if she doesn’t always feel much like chatting these days, the baby should really get the chance to hear something more than autopsy findings and questions for suspects and work discussions with Agent Doggett.  So she tries one evening, sitting on the couch after she’s finished eating dinner.

“Hi,” she says, putting a hand on her abdomen.  She’s still not showing much, but she can feel the baby move sometimes: this is real.  “How’re you doing in there?”  Then she can’t help laughing at herself—why is she asking a child who isn’t even born yet questions?  “Anyway,” she says, “I’m your mom.  My name’s Dana Scully.”  She still feels a little silly, but they might as well get acquainted.  “I guess you probably won’t call me that, though.  I guess you’ll call me Mom.”  A light kick.  “It’s kind of funny for me to think about that,” she confesses.  “You know, for a long time, I didn’t think I could be a mom.  I wanted you, but I didn’t think I could have you.  But you happened.”  Another kick; she lays her hand over the spot.  “You happened,” she repeats.  “And I’m so happy about you.  There are some things going on now…it’s a little bit complicated…but I’m so excited to meet you.  And I’m going to love you and take care of you.”  She runs her hand over her abdomen.  “So don’t you worry about anything,” she says, and the baby calms and stills, and she wishes it were always that simple.

 

_Two_

Three AM and she’s still awake.  ( _Make sure you get plenty of sleep_ , say all the books, or _Sleep is very important for both you and baby_ , or _There’s this thing called sleep you should try, have you heard of it?_ )  Her back hurts, even when she lies in the recommended position, and her thoughts…there’s no body position that can do anything about those.  The baby’s awake too, kicking.

Scully sighs and touches the bump.  “Can’t sleep?” she asks.  “Me neither.”  She shifts in bed, trying to get a little more comfortable.  “I just keep thinking,” she says.  “About…about your dad.”  She’s barely talked to anyone about this yet.  She only talks about what she has to talk about: work with Doggett and Skinner, her pregnancy with her doctor.  Her mom brings food over and looks at her anxiously, and she says she’s holding up but she’s tired and wants to be alone.  But tonight, at three AM with her body and heart aching and the tiredness overwhelming her, she wants to talk about Mulder, knowing that here she won’t have to deal with anyone’s response to her grief.

“I haven’t really told you about him,” she says.  “How about I do that now?”  The baby moves again, under her hand, and she takes that for assent and forges on.  “His name’s Mulder,” she says.  “Fox Mulder, but he likes just Mulder.  I always call him that.  He calls me Scully, too…that’s just how we do things.  Did things.”  She’s been hoping for so long, but now she’ll have to learn not to talk in the present tense.  “I don’t even know where to start,” she says.  “We were partners in the FBI, you know that?  We were partners…and then he was my best friend…and then we fell in love.”  It sounds so straightforward, put like that.  “He was such a good man.  He cared about all the right things—the truth and justice and…and people.  He always wanted to take care of me, too, but I didn’t always let him.”  She wonders if she should have, more.  “He’d want to take care of you, if he were here.  And I’ll do it for both of us, so you don’t have to worry about that, but I really wish he could too, baby.”  The tears are coming now, but she lets them fall.  “He was so smart.  So funny.  And sometimes he drove me crazy, but mostly…mostly he kept me on my toes.”  She tries to concentrate on the baby’s movements, anything to ground her, anything to make her feel like she’s more than one big emptiness.  “God, you would have loved each other.  I know that.  He would have been an amazing dad.  I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else and now it’s just me.”  There aren’t any more words then, and she just cries.  Her body shakes, and the baby kicks and kicks and kicks.

“Just me and you,” she finally corrects herself, reaching for a tissue.  “But I’ll tell you more about him, later.  When you’re older and can understand me.”  She wipes her eyes and nose.  “We should probably get some sleep, baby.  Thanks for listening.  I promise I don’t cry all the time.”  She settles back down onto her side.  “I love him so much,” she adds, quietly.  That one belongs in the present tense.

 

_Three_

Scully hasn’t been this comfortable in a long time.  But here they are: she’s got William in her arms, and she’s sitting back against Mulder, who’s got his own arms around her and is looking at her like he’ll never let her go.

She kisses him quickly, and then she looks at their son again.  “Hi there,” she murmurs.  “Hi, William.”  He blinks, slowly, and she kisses him too, right on the top of his tiny head.  “You are the sweetest baby in the world,” she tells him.  “You know that?  The sweetest baby.”

“Your mom’s right,” Mulder says.  “I’m a little worried we’re going to make you full of yourself, telling you all this, but what can we do?  You really are almost unreasonably cute.”  He reaches out and touches William’s hand, and William grabs for his finger.  She’s never seen a smile as big as Mulder’s, but she thinks her own could probably give it a run for its money.

“We’re so happy to have you here with us,” she says.  “It’s been a long wait, and well…we’re just so happy.”  Beside her, Mulder nods, still grinning.

“Do you need me to get you anything?” he asks her after a few minutes.  “Something to eat or drink or anything like that?”

She shakes her head.  “Not right now, thanks.  But if that’s a standing offer, I’ll probably be taking you up on it a lot in the next few months.”

“Hey, happy to oblige,” he says.  “You did all the hard work here, after all.”

“Oh, it was very worth it,” she says.  “Wasn’t it, William?”  And she kisses him again for good measure, whispering, “Your dad and I love you so much.”

“We do,” Mulder says, his voice solemn and utterly joyful all at once.  He presses her close, and she cuddles William, and she thinks this is a beginning.

 

_Four_

 It’s been a long day of teaching, and Scully is glad to get home.  Her mom stays for dinner—they talk about this and that—and after she leaves, Scully gets William ready for bed.  He smiles at her while she’s giving him his bath, splashing the water around with his hands.

“You look happy,” she says.  “You had a fun day with Grandma, huh?  It’s time for you to go to sleep now, though.”  She lifts him out of the tub, wrapping him in a towel, and carries him into his room.  She’s practiced at this by now, almost seven months in, and it doesn’t take long before she’s got him dressed in his sleeper.  She settles him on her lap in the rocking chair and unbuttons her blouse to feed him. 

“There you go,” she says softly as he nurses.  She looks down at his face, almost wanting to cry.  There’s no special reason for it; it’s been a perfectly ordinary day.  Sometimes it just comes on like this.

“I miss your dad,” she tells him.  His only response is a gurgle.  “Sometimes I think we really are doing what’s best.  Most of the time.  But I wish we could all be together.”  William finishes nursing, and she leans him against her shoulder and pats his back gently.  “I wish he could see you,” she adds.  “I know we will be together again, sometime, but I don’t want the two of you to miss too much, you know?”  She wishes, too, that she had Mulder here to take care of William with her, that once in a while she could read a book or take a long bath.  She doesn’t want to lean on her mom any more than she already does; it would be different if she had Mulder, living here with them, the two of them truly partners in this as in all else.  She doesn’t tell William that part, though.  It’s not his fault.

William’s almost asleep in her arms.  “Good night, sweet William,” she whispers.  “I love you.  And we’ll see your dad again soon.”  She doesn’t feel great about maybe lying to her baby, when it might not be soon at all, but saying the words makes them sound like they could be true.

 

_Five_

“Just give me five more minutes,” she begs at the last. 

“Of course,” says the other woman—her name is Helen, she has a bob and she’s wearing a cardigan, Scully hates her stupid cardigan.  She turns aside, and Scully retreats into the bedroom, clutching William in her arms.  She closes the door firmly; this moment is for them alone.

“William,” she says.  “William, I love you, okay?”  He just stares back at her.  “William, I need you to know that.  I know you won’t remember this, but maybe somehow…”  She can’t finish the sentence.  The very idea is nonsense.  There isn’t any redemption here.  But she still has to tell him.  “I’m only doing this because I love you and I want you to be safe,” she says.  “And you’re not safe here with me.  I wish you were…I wish you were so much…but you’re not.”  She’s starting to cry, and her voice is wobbly and her arms are wobbly, and it’s making him start to fuss too, and she’s fucking up her very last moments with him.  “I can’t even keep you safe,” she says.  “You need a mother who can do that.  You’re going to go live with some wonderful people, and they’ll…they’ll take care of you and keep you safe.”  She can’t manage to say _They’ll love you_.  Could anyone blame her for that?  “But don’t ever think it was because I didn’t want you.  When you get older, don’t ever think I didn’t want you or I didn’t love you.  Because I did.  I do.”  She presses her wet cheek to his and kisses his fuzzy head for the last time.  For the last time.  For the last time.  “I love you so much, William.  So much.”

When he’s gone, with Helen, she doesn’t cry any more.  She sits on the couch and goes over her lesson plans for Monday, writing and rewriting feverishly until the sun goes down and it gets too dark to see.  She could get up to turn on a light.  She doesn’t.

 

_One_

He’s taller than her.  How can that be?

But Scully can tell it’s really him, really William.  He’s got her hair and her complexion; the shape of his face is Mulder’s, and that height, too, that height that she can’t quite wrap her head around yet (he was a baby, she could pick him up).  He’s shifting from foot to foot, here in the hospital waiting area, and she wonders if he’s as nervous as she is.  Only Mulder’s hand on her back keeps her grounded as they finally approach.

“William?” she says, and he looks at her (the eyes are the same) and nods quickly. 

“Yeah,” he says.  “Yeah, that’s me.”  He studies them; maybe he’s picking out the resemblances too.  “And you’re  my…”  He breaks off.

“Your birth parents,” she says.  “I’m Dana Scully.”  She’d like to hug him but thinks a handshake might be safer, so she goes with that.  They clasp hands for a little longer than usual.

“I’m Fox Mulder,” Mulder says, and he and William shake hands too.  “You can call me Mulder, though.  If you want.”

“Okay,” William says.  He smiles tentatively.  They smile back, equally tentatively.

“How are you feeling?” Scully asks.  The question sounds so banal.  “After the donation.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” William says.  “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Well, you did save my life,” Mulder says, at the same time as Scully’s saying, “I’m so glad it all went well,” and as she’s finishing speaking, William’s starting to say, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that.”  They all stop.  Smile at each other again.  Try to figure out what to say next and whose turn it is to speak.

“You know your…Scully’s a doctor,” Mulder says at last.  “So she has to ask about these things.”

“I thought they said you were in the FBI?” William asks.

“Both, actually,” Scully says, and she thinks about another life, one where William would have known all of this.  “I’m a pathologist.  I do a lot of forensic work with the FBI.  And the two of us work together too.”

“It must be really cool,” William says.  So he doesn’t think they’re embarrassing to know.  Maybe in that other life he would, at this age.

“Yeah,” Mulder says.  “Most of the time.”  Another little silence.

“I’m so glad to see you again, William,” she blurts out.  She needs him to know that.

“Me too,” Mulder puts in.  It’s been even longer for him, she thinks.

“It’s…um…it’s nice to meet…to see…you both,” William says.  He looks unsure.  She wants to make this easier for him.  She doesn’t know how—not when she’s so unsure herself—but she has to try, at least.

“It’s okay if this is strange for you,” she tells him.  “I think it’s strange for all of us.”  At her side, Mulder nods, and after a minute William nods too, and they all smile a little, again.  “I don’t know what you know about us, but probably not very much?”

William shakes his head.  “Just mostly that you’re my birth parents,” he said.  “And that you’re in the FBI, and about the stem cells.  And I know Mom and Dad adopted me when I was a baby, so I guess that’s how long it’s been.”

“Yes,” Scully says.  “Fourteen years now.”  She wants to tell him how much she’s missed him, but she can’t drop the full weight of that on him in the first five minutes.  So she keeps it simple, just saying, “We missed you.”  She can’t read the look he gives her.  She doesn’t know his looks.

“We don’t know very much about you yet either,” Mulder says, filling the silence.  “But we want to.  If you’re interested.”  She can tell from his face and his voice that the idea of William not being interested is as painful to him as it is to her.

She lets out a breath when William says, “Yeah.  I’ve kind of, you know, wanted to know about you too.  Who you were, I mean.”

Mulder nods.  “I’d definitely have a lot of questions in your place,” he says.  “And we’ll do our best to answer yours.”

Scully nods too.  “Do you want to go somewhere?” she asks.  “We could get lunch and talk some more.  If it would be all right with your…your parents.”  She’ll have to say it some time, might as well be now.

“Yeah,” William says.  “Yeah, that sounds good.  I’m sure it would be all right with my mom and dad.  I’ll just call them if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” she says, and he takes his phone out of his pocket, wandering away from them a little.  Mulder presses her hand in his, and she squeezes back.  She can’t help trying to make out words from the phone conversation, _lunch_ and _nice_ (does he think they’re nice?) and _call you again later_.  He comes back towards them after a minute or two.

“They said it’s good,” he says.  “We can go.”

“Great,” Mulder says.  “Let’s go find a place.”

“Is there anything you feel like eating?” Scully asks.

“Um, I like pizza,” he says.  “If you do.”

She knows that a lot of people like pizza—it’s in no way a quirky personal taste or some strange genetic heritage—and yet she can’t help smiling at that.  “We do,” she says.  “There’s a good place a couple of blocks from here.  Should we go?”  He nods.  “And we can talk there,” she says.  “Take our time.”  It will take time.

They walk out of the hospital.  Mulder’s holding her hand.  William’s at her side. 


End file.
